Oops!

I missed a few months of blogging, and by a few months I actually mean basically a year! Things got busy, but it’s been a super fun year.

Iris turned ONE in July!

I guess to catch up on things her milestones hit like this.

Sitting Unsupported: Five and a half months.

Standing with Support: Six months. She started pushing her walker at such an early age I was living in fear that I might have a SUPER early walker since she walked with supported way before crawling.

Crawling: Seven Months.

First Tooth: Actually teeth. On the day she turned eight months both bottom teeth popped through.

Standing Unsupported: Ten months.

First Steps: Ten months. What a memorable Memorial Day! She didn’t like standing on her own though so she wasn’t a full blown walker until around eleven months. Now she is running!

First word: “Otto” which is her Mimi’s dog. She started calling all dogs and cats Otto around Nine months. Her vocabulary now at Thirteen months is insane, and communication makes life so much more fun!

 

This is a good interpretation of her personality.

She’s a very curious girl who loves music and puzzles. Animals are her favorite thing in the word especially cats and ducks!

My little ham.

I am truly hoping to keep up with everything, but since milestones aren’t really a think after a year I’ll have to be a bit more creative. I’ve been needing a creative outlet though. Though the real reason I’m feeling like it’s time for an update is:

“Hello there little one!”

I found out on my 29th birthday that I was expecting number two! We are due on February 17th, 2019. So, I’ll have two under two! It’s super overwhelming, but I am also really excited because they will be so close in age! I’m fifteen weeks tomorrow so I am through the horrible morning sickness portion, and I am starting to feel pregnant.

We find out gender on September 6th, and I’ve been waiting to buy anything until then. I really would like a boy so I can have the best of both worlds, but at the end of the day a healthy babe is all that matters. I always felt in my heart Iris was a girl, but in this case my gut is telling me boy. I guess we will see!

Can’t wait to catch up on all the blogs I’ve been missing for the past year. Hope you are all doing well! ❤

 

Month Four

Iris still hasn’t popped any teeth. Still won’t sleep through the night. Isn’t quite crawling yet.

Either way, the days have been extremely rewarding as her personality is coming out more and more each day. She’s a super sweet, fun loving cuddlebug.

Time is flying. My heart is so full.

In like two weeks she will half a year old. Why does this go so fast?

Month Three

So, obviously it’s been awhile, but let’s just say a combination of work being all consuming and losing my laptop charger is to blame. Iris turned four months yesterday so I figured it’s time to capture the happenings of her third month because it has been an exciting one!

Little one doesn’t want to use her bath anymore because she wants to sit up in it! Infact she’s constantly trying to sit, but still unable sit on her own! I think it might be soon though with some more practice! Her grandma found this really great tub that I wish we had all along now because it keeps her in the sitting position and gives her good water coverage. The “Schnuggle” claims to mimic the womb like most baby products try, but I can genuinely see this working for comfort. Definitely going to use this one my future offspring.

Someone still adores the bath. Getting excited that maybe soon she can just take actual baths!

My post is going to be completely out of order because I had to post my photos via the mobile app and I’m just yoloing here. Her four month check up went well! I’ve spent the past month really terrified that she made have a flat head, but the doctor said she’s perfect! She has this bald spot though that made me mega paranoid hopefully it grows in soon so I can stop feeling like a bad mom.

They gave us the go ahead to start feeding her solids, but hah-jokes on them this little monster started showing interest in food at around 15 weeks so we’ve been introducing foods every now and then.

Tonight we did carrots which was messier than usual. So far she’s only kind of disliked apples, but everything else is a hit.

It’s honestly crazy to see how BIG she is getting. She is now 16lbs and 5oz. Size 3 diapers and she’s already growing out of most 6 month sized clothing which is a bummer because I have a surplus of 3-6 month clothing she’s barely worn still. At this age they claim this is where growth can slow so I’m hoping that’s the case because I can’t keep up!

 

I can’t get enough of how cute this little hat is.

Huge milestone in the past week is that she rolled over from back to front, and now she doesn’t want to stop! She loves playing with her feet while laying down a whole ton and in general is constantly dancing around so catching pictures is difficult.

 

Someone has a million Holiday related onsies.

Her communication skills are insane now she’s always chatting up a storm. Her cries her starting to make sense to me when it comes to wanting to eat, sleep, or play. When she wakes up in the morning she’ll talk to herself for a bit which is nice because it gives me a bit more snooze time, but what’s even more special is the HUGE smile she greats me with when I peer over her crib. I literally melt every time.

How did I create such a beautiful, precious little flower?

For Halloween she was a Bee. That was cute. Here are some pictures of that:

Yeah we matched. Whatever.

That smile. I melt every time.

We took her on the most basic autumn experience and she was like “meh”. What a true summer child.

“Mom, why do you always order pumpkin spice lattes?”

TUMMY TIME IS FINALLY NOT A CHORE! Daycare has to be a huge part of this as they have her on tummy time a lot. It was like out of nowhere she was like “oh hey whatever” one day when I put her on her tummy. Get this though…SHE IS TRYING TO SCOOT! I can’t handle it she’s growing so fast.

 

“No biggie just hanging out on my tummy whatever”

I think the only other exciting thing is that we’ve started to get her to sleep in her crib at night. It broke my heart, but it was time since she started to move around too much in her bassinet. We still use the Rock N’ Play occasionally, but she’s started to really just want to sit up and play on the ground.

Once again so sorry I disappeared. Things have been hectic for me with adapting to being back at work and just life in general. My postpartum depression hit a pretty hard point around Halloween when I spoke with someone at work about a baby who was a month older than Iris who died of SIDs. I lost my brain and couldn’t focus. I lost my brain for other reasons too. Mostly, because it’s a super demanding job and I still don’t feel like I can justify working for how little I make.

I just kind of started telling myself to not worry about anything and to work through it for my family. The past two weeks I’ve been doing better than ever and in a sense kind of enjoy work a little. I set goals to succeed and really hope that it will pay off at some point.

Hoping to find my laptop charger because my dude is having shoulder surgery next week and he can’t lift Iris for TWO months. So, I’m probably going to need an outlet to vent to for sure.

Weeks 11/12

I missed out on blogging the past week because it’s been truly a blur. Week 11 started off on a weird note when my dude had an emergency appendectomy. Next thing I knew I was back at work, and mentally drained.

Iris is growing at such a crazy rate though, and I can’t wait to share my experiences with her the past two weeks!

“WTF is that?!”

During week 11 Iris became very aware of her body and her surroundings. She’s become quite the wiggle worm since this happened, and suddenly she’s much more affectionate and interested in her toys!

I literally cannot handle how beautiful she is in this picture.

She has a fox security blanket that she loves holding and talking to. We’ve also picked up a few more toys like rattles, and that Baby Eisenstein soother that literally everyone has. I know you all know what I mean it’s that one with the ocean sounds.

Another “WTF is this” moment

These toys really seem to help with tummy time a bit more. I think it also helps that daycare puts her in tummy time with no fear so she’s getting just slightly better at this whole thing. Oddly enough though, I think she might sit up before she does anything else because she’s been trying whenever I have her on the Boppy. I’m not really sure what’s normal all of my mom apps say crawling is first, but I dunno I have this weird feeling she might skip that because she’s just never thrilled about it.

“Not again, mom….”

Daycare has been going well it seems. I thought she’d get sick the first week, but she’s been fine. To be fair she is doing half and half as they didn’t have room for her full time yet. So, she is there three days a week and with her grandmother the other two days. I think this is a really nice way to ease her into the program.

11 week postpartum work selfie

How am I doing returning to work? Better than I ever thought. Work has actually been super accommodating for me. I get two half hour pump breaks and one half hour lunch. These breaks truly help me mentally get away from the stress. It also just feels nice to be making money. There’s a ton of stuff I wanna spoil my little one with, and I haven’t really gotten the chance to yet. Look forward to a first paycheck haul blog with all of the goodies I get. I’m still weighing less than I was before I got pregnant so I am super happy, but I find maintaining the weight or even losing it is a struggle. I need to get more active.

My postpartum depression is gone, or it feels like it. Might just be the meds. Either way I am VERY glad I sought out help because I know these past two weeks would have been nuts. Seriously, never be ashamed. Being a mom is hard. Being a working mom is even more difficult. Do what you need to.

All of this is straight from the boob!

I can happily say I am reaching my daily goal of 6-8oz of breast milk a day. I’m sad I can’t exclusively breastfeed, but it’s crazy to see how much Reglan and Fenugreek work! I feel like it did take a full two weeks to see the progress though. Everyone’s bodies are different, but if you struggle with low supply give them a try. I’ve been sipping on Mother’s Milk Tea during the day at work too and that seems to give me a bit of a boost.

 

Iris 11 weeks: October 1st, 2017.

All and all I think she’s a very happy baby. Last night I got the best present ever while tickling her: her first laugh. I am currently still a pile of goo over it and I’m so excited for her to laugh more because she has the most adorable laugh ever! I think that was the nice cherry on the top of the tough week returning to work. Sometimes when I feel very down I think about these types of things to pick me up.

Obviously she is super cool.

It’s weird to know I’m not her main caretaker anymore, but it’s so sweet to see no matter what she’s so happy to see me. My biggest fear is that being away from her for eight hours a day will make her forget me, or she will bond to someone else. I’m realizing that’s absurd now. We have a deep bond that now one can replace. At the end of the day it’s my love and comfort that makes her sleep peacefully through the night.

I’ve been very blessed with her demeanor. She sleeps through the night, she’s not terrible about change, and well, she is adorable. I’m trying to work on the big step of transitioning her to her crib. My goal is by six months to have her sleeping in her own room. I’m truly taking baby steps to do it because I’m not 100% ready either. I also am trying to wean her off the Rock N’ Play because she’s getting pretty big for it already.  I’ve been setting a blanket on the ground and having her do her thing. She’s pretty content watching her Dad play video games, or watching Disney movies. I just know in a month or so that’s all going to change. She’s going to be into everything and I’m going to be ripping my hair out.

Mom guilt makes me feel bad saying this, but I really don’t want her to grow out of this stage. She’s so sweet and easy to manage, but knowing she can do so much more soon also has me eager for that. Either way, I probably won’t be able to write for another two weeks! I’m sure she will change a bunch in that time too. Who knows….maybe she might start crawling….

Iris twelve weeks: October 8th, 2017.

 

 

 

 

Week 10

My baby is in the double digits and I only have a week left at home with her! It’s been a doozy of a week for me personally, but Iris has been rather chill. If anything she’s become a professional raspberrier, and she still despises tummy time.

“You’re torturing me please stooooop!”

Naturally, I am worried about her lack of tummy time because I feel like she won’t crawl because she never wants to be in this position. Thankfully it feels like today I had some progress with her. I’ve gotten a few ten minute stretches in a row where she was pretty entertained by the mirror. I feel like a terrible mother saying this, but I feel like there will be a lot more progress with this once she goes to daycare. It breaks my heart to hear her cry and I think part of her learning is letting her struggle a bit. Maybe I’m wrong, but either way I’ll keep trying and hope she starts to enjoy it.

Thankfully her interest in toys has grown quite a bit. She is now able to grab toys and feel them. She hasn’t been shaking her rattle or anything, but she holds onto it. This kind of helps getting her places because she will look at her feet/hands for entertainment, or a toy. It’s also super fun because I feel like I can officially play with her! Before she was a slug now she’s like a caterpillar.

I even added the rubber duck into the bath with her, and she was fairly entertained.

She had her two month appointment this week and I was surprised to hear that she is only 12lbs 5oz and 24 inches. She’s very tall there’s no denying that, but I could of sworn she was heavier she certainly feels like it. Her doctor said she’s “beautifully healthy” which is cool. She also got her shots which she handled fairly well. Even afterwards there was no signs of her being sick though we gave her a bit of children’s Tylenol just in case. The doctor recommended just 1.25 mL right after the shots. Either way I am proud of her for being a champ.

So, the biggest part of my week involved my mental health. My stress levels have been sky high and I found myself super down about the breast milk issue. I discussed this with her pediatrician and she recommended I go see my OB. My OB is honestly not the kindest dude so I didn’t feel comfortable discussing my feelings with him so the office paired me with a nurse practitioner. I’ve also never gotten an appointment so fast as I did when I mentioned being worried about postpartum depression. I discussed with her the fact that my supply dropped and I’ve been working hard to bring back a semblance of a supply, but mentioned I felt sad as a result.

The other thing lingering on my mind that is bringing me down is returning to work. I just don’t feel mentally ready for it yet, but I know I need to. She said she was glad I came in when I did because if I didn’t and I continued feeling like this when I returned to work it may have been worse. I was prescribed 25mg of Zoloft and Reglan. Reglan is for the breastmilk production it’s a muscle relaxer that increases prolactin which helps with production. It was also recommended I try Fenugreek as a supplement to the Reglan to help boost as much as possible.

I take both Reglan and Fenugreek four times daily, drink a shit ton of water/coconut water, and drink oatmeal stoudt as well as eat oatmeal. My production looked like this:

I realize this is a much larger container than the next image, but this was about 5 mL.

Now at the end of the week it looks like this:

Success!

It’s nothing compared to what I pumped before, but it’s progress. I’d be happy to feed her 3-4oz per day with her bedtime bottle. It’s been a rough week, but I am so happy to see progress! We’ll see if it increases anymore, but I’m not getting my hopes up because once I return to work it’ll probably dip to where it is now anyways.

As for the Zoloft I feel like I don’t feel as terrible, but that could be the result of a bunch of things. Time will tell. I will say I am a bit worried about potentially being pregnant with #2. I have some dark brown bleeding that started on Friday and symptoms that identical to when I found out I was pregnant before. As happy as I would be to have another I am in no way prepared for that. So, to say it’s been a “heavy” week would be an understatement.

Iris Week 10: September 24th, 2017.

Week 9

The transition between vacation and real life has actually been pretty difficult. Iris came back and stopped sleeping through the night once again. She went from being extremely independent last week to wanting to be soothed and held constantly.

Despite being exhausted I’m really enjoying this bonding time.

Every night has varied quite a bit, but I’d say on average she wakes up twice a night. Thankfully my dude has become a lot more supportive at night because he knows we soon both return to work. Day time naps have also been varied. Some days she will nap constantly and others she doesn’t nap more than 5-10 minutes at a time. I’ll no longer expect her to be “on a routine”. I shouldn’t have in the first place because she’s way too young.

Trying the relactate has been depressing. I have to pump every 2-3 hours for 10-15 minutes and barely anything comes out. It feels like a lost cause at this point, but so many people swear they relactate after far longer periods of time.

This is the product of a 20 minute pump session. I used to produce 3-5oz each in this time frame multiple times a day.

I’ve spent most of my time attached to the pump and trying to nurse her. They say the baby is the best was to get the milk flowing, but my problem is she gets so angry about no milk. I have to time it to when she isn’t too hungry and is willing to use me as a pacifier, but that’s no simple task. Today I am stockpiling on water and oatmeal to see if that helps at all. My breasts feel a little bit fuller, but still not much is coming out.

Excuse my tan lines, but yeah, this is life right now.

I can definitely see the mental effects of not being able to produce breastmilk hitting me hard. Studies show that breastfeeding helps prevent postpartum depression not 100% of course, but it helps. In my case I believe it definitely did because now I find myself breaking down multiple times a day especially over the cost of formula. I don’t think I’ve ever been so emotional in my life. I’m scheduling an appointment with my OB to discuss this because I know they can prescribe medicine to help me relactate, but even that’s not guaranteed. Either way I think it’s a good idea just incase I am having signs of PPD.

The other thing really bringing me down is my return to work. I officially have two weeks left on my leave, and I really don’t want to go back especially because I know that’s going make relactating even more difficult. I’ve mentioned it before but knowing I may miss some of her first milestones because she is at daycare breaks my heart. Financially it’s just not realistic to go back, but at the same time I feel like my entire paycheck per week will be going strictly to daycare. The only way I could justify returning to work is if I made at least double what I make now otherwise we survive just fine with what we have. It’s something we’ve discussed in the past few days, but I’m not sure either one of us truly knows what to do.

To help cope with stress and anxiety I did a deep clean on the house. It absolutely needed it too because our animals went wild while we were away, and the person who was watched them wasn’t tasked with keeping the house clean. I’m starting to get anxious about all of the animal fur around the house since I feel like she might start crawling soon. I’ve also just been thirsty for order in my life because I feel like recently it’s been a little too crazy for me. I used to say that the state of my mind is like the state of my bedroom floor. Keeping it clean helps me stay focused and on schedule. I always digress though.

Since I like throwing suggestions to other mothers out there I wanted to take this chance to suggest this grass drying rack thingie. If I didn’t have this entire setup pictured below I am pretty sure I would have lost every crucial piece to my pump and her bottles.

Another discovery I made when I was in Hawaii that I forgot to mention last week is how great Target Brand diapers are. They work just the same as Pampers, but for a fraction of the price. I mostly like them because they have that line that lets you know if they wet the diaper or not. So if you are looking to stock up on diapers and wipes go for the Target Brand for real!

Sorry to be such a bummer. All in all things aren’t terrible actually Iris has been progressing so much socially. I’ve been trying to teach her to blow raspberries and she’s definitely trying it now. It’s absolutely precious. She also LOVES listening to “Wheels on the Bus” so thank heavens Youtube has like 2 million different renditions of that song.

She really likes to sit up, but still despises tummy time.

OH and she’s finally moved on from the Rock N’ Play at night! My babe finally sleeps in her bassinet! She also has been napping in the crib a ton which is amazing!

I think what helped was buying the SwaddleUp which allows her access to her hands, but prevents the startle reflex from waking her up. It also gives her tons of room in the legs to move around so I don’t have to worry about hip dysplasia.!

Hopefully next week I can tell you all about my success with relactation. Right now things look bleak, but I am trying to stay determined. Her sweet little face truly helps pull me through it all.

Iris. 9 weeks: September 18th, 2017.

Hawaii/Week 7&8

This is a joint post because being in Hawaii was such a large part of this time. Being home now with her at eight weeks it’s kind of crazy to see how much she changed during the course of the week and a half we were away.

So, to call this a vacation is hard it was more of a trip. I found few chances to actually relax because our family failed to really plan things through very well. The night before we flew out we stayed in Alameda, California since our flight was out of Oakland. This just so happened to be the one night it was actually disgustingly hot in the Bay Area. Because of poor planning we never booked a hotel as we planned to just stay at a friends house. Well, the Bay Area doesn’t get hot like it does where I live so NO ONE  has air conditioning. The heat wave made it so that every hotel was booked and so I was stuck in a small apartment with no AC with a cranky baby who was scaring me because of how hot it was. I’m talking 100+ at 10PM kind of hot. We ended up sleeping in the car just to keep her cool because I don’t think we could have otherwise.

This should have been the clue in for how badly planned the trip was. We knew there were specific things we wanted to do, but with a large group and a newborn it was completely unrealistic to do everything together. Before going on the trip we agreed that we’d have to split up to do things, but for some reason this wasn’t a concept that stuck. It’s so hard to explain what it’s like to have a child to those who don’t have children. My dude has three younger sisters who are all quite headstrong about the things they want to do. I think it’s wonderful and I believe they will be a great influence on my daughter someday, but their concept of what is realistic to accomplish in a day with a newborn is insane.

Even if your child is sleeping the entire night it doesn’t mean you aren’t an exhausted mama! Especially when you are a new mom. I think I might even STILL be exhausted from labor to this day. So, compromising with them was a bit tricky. I learned that being a parent means sacrificing your own fun for the sake of others at times. One of the highly recommended things to do while on the big island in Hawaii is to swim with Manta Rays. As I mentioned before it was planned to split up to do these activities as clearly a newborn cannot partake. Magically the day we intended to go it became a huge ordeal where no one wanted to split up. So, to alleviate all grumpiness I decided to be a martyr of sorts and say, “Everyone go without me I will stay back with my child.”

Problem solved, right? Not necessarily. I still seemed like a big asshole or felt like one anyways. By the end of the week I realized I needed to speak up and stand my ground firmly. I deserved the vacation too. I just went through pregnancy and birth in the past year. So when it came to the next thing we needed to split for I was like, “No, I missed one thing I do not want to keep missing things because you insist on going together!”

I think it’s very important to not let people feel any shame or guilt for trying to have fun as a parent. We deserve it infact that’s what keeps us sane! I had this moment a few times with his sisters where I needed to proclaim: “Hey I am a person too let me have fun!” I truly can’t wait for the day they have children of their own and learn how this feels.

On the other hand it was incredibly difficult to watch how everyone treated my dude’s mother. She works hard to take all of her grown children on vacation every year. This year she brought me, the baby, and one of her daughters boyfriends. It was so hard to watch this trip break her down though. I think it may be part of the process of family trips. Normally we aren’t all stuck in a hotel room together. We have that space to go home and cool down. A lot of times his mother was the only one who felt bad for me having to sacrifice my own fun, but she’s been through it so she understands. It makes me afraid to see how my own children will act when I try to give them the same opportunities.

As for Iris, she’s a doll as usual. She loved the water both beach and the pool!

Just snoozing at the beach.

If anyone had a vacation it was her. She spent a lot of this week napping and then when she was awake she became even more vocal. My dude’s family was SO amazed by this. I’ve been seeing her do this for a few weeks now though so I’m used to it. I think having a bunch of different people to talk to may have actually been helpful because she got less bored.

Tummy time was almost impossible because there wasn’t really a safe space for it so I need to spend some extra time with that now. When being held though she almost always holds her head up on her own unless she’s super sleepy. A lot of her awake time was spent being walked around. She loved hearing the waves and looking the palm trees.

At the beach with her Dad.

Before we left for Hawaii almost everyone in the family bought her a cute swimsuit for her to wear. I’m convinced finding swimsuits for newborns is actually impossible, but that’s fine because 3-6 month swimsuits are still pretty tight on her. Also, I don’t care how cute a baby swimsuit is it’s a nightmare to take off. His sisters insisted on putting them all on until one day when I told them to change her and they had to deal with her screaming for twenty minutes. I get it completely. I hate taking my swimsuit off too.

Napping at the beach once again.

Do yourself a favor and get a larger fitting rash guard and a swim diaper. It makes your life SO much easier. She spent the rest of the week dressed like this and then coated in baby sunblock. The bucket swim hat is also great as you can get them with an SPF. Iris didn’t have any signs of sunburn thankfully which is great because I burnt like crazy.

Don’t let my makeup deceive you my face was bright red.

We did get to do a lot of newborn friendly things. We went snorkeling and the boat was super kid friendly. She spent most of the time sleeping in the Pack n Play that the boat provided us. She got to put her feet in the sand at the black sand beach and we had did dinner near Kilaeua which is an active volcano! I’m sad she won’t remember these moments like I did, but excited that she’s experiencing the world so early.

She’s really great at always looking grumpy.

A really fun thing I observed change in her this week is that she doesn’t have her hands in fists as much. She’s starting to relax and actually grab at things! She often times grabs her blanket, pacifier, and our cellphones.

“Mama when do I get my own cellphone?” Oh honey, not for a LONG time.

I definitely feel like I’m starting to see her personality a little more now. I’m actually not sure I feel like she’s a newborn anymore. What even is the cutoff age for such a title? I removed her infant insert in the carseat so I mean maybe that’s it? I see what people mean when they say “you’ll miss when they were like that”. I already miss holding her while we sleep. I feel like she’s becoming so independent as she self soothes so well.

Just chilling.

Now that I am back I have a crap ton of laundry to do and I need to start putting away some of her clothing. Everything is getting so tight even her some of her 3 month sized clothing! Also, I need to stop swaddling her as it’s recommended to stop at around eight weeks because it can cause hip dysplasia. My goals are to ween her off the Rock n Play at night and put the Bassinet to use, get her used to not being swaddled, and oh yeah, rescue my breast milk supply.

We went from being mostly breastfed to bottle fed during this trip because of convenience. I’m actually quite ashamed by it because my long term breastfeeding goal was to make it to six months. My supply is super low and even worse, I got my first period. I’m going to see if power pumping can rescue the supply, but I’ve been told once your period returns it’s really hard to keep up with.

The next weeks are going to be hard as I am returning to work on hopefully October 2nd pending our daycare situation. We are currently next on the “waitlist”. I’m dreading the return as I’m not the biggest fan of my job, but also for the obvious reasons. I love being home with her and helping shape who she is. I wish I could stay home for the first year so I don’t miss all the important milestones, but it’s so financially unrealistic. It’s also super hard for me because I was a nanny for several years so this is kind of my schtick.

A candid picture with her presents from Hawaii.

Either way, I still feel in my groove as a mama. The trip taught me a lot of valuable lessons about family and what to expect. I’m so fortunate to have a family that loves Iris so much to give her these amazing opportunities. Nothing is ever picture perfect though and being a parent does truly come with some hard sacrifices. Just remember to not completely sacrifice yourself because others make you feel guilty. We’re all only human and we all deserve good things. Those are the words I will pass on to my dude’s sisters when their time comes because being a parent truly isn’t something you understand until you are one.

Iris, 8 weeks 09/10/17.

 

Flying with a Newborn

I have finally returned from Hawaii! At times I regret not bringing my laptop so I could write more during the time I was a away, but honestly the laptop is a whole extra hassle that I didn’t need.

Going into this trip my biggest fear was pissing off everyone on the plane. I’ve only ever been on a plane four times and didn’t recall seeing many babies. In my head I was going to look like an asshole taking a newborn on a vacation. I figured she would scream the entire five hour flight. Turns out Hawaii is actually a popular place for families to travel with newborns! On the flight in Iris was the youngest, but there was a baby just a week older! Then on the flight back there was a six day old baby!

The gate was full of babies and toddlers which helped me feel a million times better! Something clicked in my mind while sitting at the gate waiting to be left on the plane: Iris is actually the most ideal traveling age! She sleeps for long periods and she can’t run away, squirm, or complain! Next time we make this trip it might not be nearly as much of a breeze, but the flight in and out were completely different experiences for me.

First off, I have to emphasize how nice it was to get the TSA pre-check done. It made that entire process less insane. I had decided to not even bother with breast milk on the plane other than what came out of me directly, but I did carry formula. That was the only thing they needed check which was still super quick. On the way back I just had a little bag made up of the formula so that they didn’t need to pull my diaper bag apart which made the process even more seamless. Either way breast milk and formula are exempt from the 4oz rule so bring as much as you need!

All strollers and carseats are checked for free which is a life saver! We got special bags to store them in, but it didn’t seem all that necessary. What I didn’t know is that the stroller and carseat would need to go through the x-ray machines which made this a little bit crazy for a moment as we had to quickly fold everything up. I recommend getting into the TSA line with another person so you can hold the baby and have the other person place all the bags and fold the stroller. On the flight back home we became a well oiled machine about folding and unfolding the stroller.

Another cool thing about having a baby is you get to board the plane first. I was originally on the fence about going on early as I read multiple travel articles suggesting different things. My advice here is you know your child best. Iris just so happened to be napping so I figure why not get on. If she was fussing I definitely would have waited a little bit just so other passengers wouldn’t get pissy. Now when I did get on the plane and situated myself to be comfortable she just so happened to wake up. I fed her a bottle and nursed her through take off. The final outcome of this:

Sleeping the entire flight.

Now we all know every baby is different, but I was so surprised with how well she handled it! Make sure you feed or nurse during take off so that the pressure doesn’t hurt their ears. I did notice a few people struggling with children over this. Also, the Boppy helped relieve me of my holding duty otherwise I would have been extremely uncomfortable. Whoever came up with the Boppy you are a GOD!

At the end of the flight into Hawaii she was full of smiles!

On the flight into Hawaii my dude and I shared the row with a lady who was super nice, and she complimented how well Iris did. On the flight home we were blessed with the row to ourselves. I had read that it’s a good idea to buy a seat for your child even though they fly for free under the age of 2. Having that extra seat was so nice for the ride home because Iris wasn’t happy at all.

“Where are we going? I liked it there.”

During her less fussy times I set her on the Boppy in the seat between my dude and I. Do I think it’s necessary to buy an extra seat? Not really, but again, you know your child best. If you have a colicky baby then yes, absolutely. Otherwise it’s a hard maybe.

For changing diapers I just did it at the seat instead of trying to run to the bathroom with her. On the flight in she peed once, but on the flight back she had two blowouts. I’m telling you all she seriously DID NOT want to leave.

My dude’s mom wants to keep traveling with Iris because she is convinced that this will make her better at it when she’s a toddler. From what I observed even the most angelic toddler turns into a wild beast on the plane. I’m hoping to keep traveling too, but I’m mentally spent from the whole experience. Just know as a new mom you will not be alone! Plenty of other mamas are flying and they are all SO supportive. At the end of both flights while waiting for our strollers we congregated and gave each other pats on the back for surviving the flight!

I think our next flight might be in November to Disneyland. I’m curious to see the differences as Iris grows more aware and if my MIL is right about her “getting used to it” by doing it more.

 

Week 6

I’ve spent the past few days trying to catch up with current times, and right now I’m at the end of six weeks. Overall, it’s been a lovely week, but next week is going to be crazy as we are going to Hawaii for ten days. Iris is already traveling way more than I ever did in my first twenty years of life. I’m happy for that though because I love new experiences. This will also be my first time in Hawaii so that’ll be cool.

The craziest part of this is the fact that ten of us will be crowded into a hotel room with a newborn. I know his family adores her, but they don’t have to deal with her at night. I just worry her routine might be thrown off by the timezone difference, and just not being at home in general. I also worry there might be some people who feel their vacation is “ruined” by having a newborn around. This is a family that is used to doing a lot of crap on their trips. Newborns really can’t do that much, and new moms either for that matter. Looking forward to seeing how I cope.

The cool thing about her sleep schedule is she is officially sleeping 7-9 hours a night in her Rock N’ Play! This baby hasn’t been sleeping on me for almost three weeks! I feel free of my couch shackles finally! Plus during the day she takes a few decent naps as well so I am able to do chores a little better now.

Even more cool is the length of time she chills now. She can chill for as long as a half hour in her Rock n’ Play now. She can calm herself down quickly if she starts to cry. I’ve been letting her fuss a little and she is always able to find something to distract her. She is very intrigued by the ceiling fan in the living room and holds in depth conversations with it. I’m sad for the day that she realizes it will never speak back to her.

I have a pretty nice routine set at night now too. I give her a bath with lavender soap which is a twofer she loves the bath and I love the soap. After the bath I give her baby massage and dress her. We spend a decent amount of time talking about the political climate of the United States and what kind of dog is the coolest. I’ll then attempt to do some tummy time. She’s been a bit iffy about tummy time since she can get bored easily now. I gotta catch her at the right time. She’s progressing like crazy with it when it is successful.

She likes to smile at books now. I hope this means she will have a good relationship with books in the future.

I’m pretty sure she’s going to crawl soon, but I probably only think that because she’s my daughter and she’s super amazing/cool/wow.

During tummy time I’ll read her a book. I’ve been trying to stick to a few of the same books because repetition is highly recommended. Once she’s tired of that we sit in the rocker and I feed her. In the past few days I observed that she recognizes what sitting in the rocker means. It doesn’t matter how grumpy she is she will stop crying and smack her lips together because she KNOWS she is about to get the liquid gold. Sometimes she falls asleep while I’m feeding, but usually I have to rock her for a solid 15-20 minutes. She then lays down and is good for the night.

During the day I’ve been trying to establish the difference between day and night. I don’t use a SwaddleMe for naps, but instead wrap her lightly with a blanket. I make sure to take her outside and keep the windows open for extra sunlight. This week had a pretty exciting outdoor milestone: swimming!

Pre-first swim. When did my baby get so long?

I was nervous about this because I figured she might scream, but within seconds of being in the water she was cooing! We spent a good 45 minutes just walking around the pool. She talked to me the entire time. Excuse my mommy ego, but perhaps someday she’ll be an olympic swimmer?

“Why am I not in the pool still?”

Another important part of the week is that I finally started using cloth diapers on her. From the early stages of my pregnancy I obsessed with the concept of being a crunchy mom. I’ve had a lot of people tell me I am crazy for wanting to do cloth diapering because it’s “so much extra work”. I don’t give a crap I’m happy to do a few extra loads of laundry. Plus, I’m saving money and the diapers are super cute!

She really enjoys flashing that middle finger.

The rest of the week has just been filled sweet moments in which is she making all kinds of adorable faces.

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Next week should be very interesting. I’m excited to see how we tackle the flight and how all of the other adventures fare. More importantly, I’m excited to have a vacation. When we return from Hawaii my maternity leave will only have two weeks remaining so, this feels like my last hurrah!

Iris six weeks: August 27th, 2017.

 

Week 5

It’s weird how quickly Iris went from being a total lump to a moving ball of emotions. I tell her often to get used to it because that’s just how it is for us women folk. As each week passes she begins to make more sounds. She adores when I read, talk, and make funny faces at her. Sometimes she’ll just be relaxing in her Rock N’ Play and she’ll just let out one big, “Ooooooooh.” I melt instantly each time.

Late night smiles making late nights worth it.

More importantly, Iris had begun to chill on her own. Something clicked in her mind allowing her to be on her own for brief periods of time. It’d be short, but it made life a little easier. My mental state had still been wavering, but seeing her learn to self soothe helped me start self soothing as well.

Her baby acne got a tiny bit worse, but never troubling. I try to not Google issues too often because I know it’ll make me paranoid. The Glow app I mentioned before has a forum where moms post pictures to ask for advice from other mothers. Baby acne/eczema is a hot topic and some of the stuff I’ve seen on there is terrifying.

My child already has quite the attitude as well as acne.

Week five is when I felt like I started to get into the groove of motherhood. I became used to needing to get up at night and feed her. The crying became less overwhelming for me. Suddenly, I could multi-task like a boss too. The house still remained a wreck, but slightly less so. It didn’t seem like my child was secretly plotting my demise anymore in fact it felt like everything she did became adorable again.

She started to play with some of her toys during this week, but that was mostly just staring/bopping things above her with her fists. Either way it was a nice change of pace to add “playing” to the list of things she does. Though now getting bored is a thing that can piss her off.

The most troubling thing that happened this week actually didn’t happen with her, but instead with her father. He decided we wouldn’t be too busy mid-August and registered for a hockey tournament in Tahoe. I spent the weekend with his mom and sisters instead. There’s something about not being at home that really throws off the groove of everything so I ended up being pretty miserable, but that’s not the worst of it. During the last game my dude got in a fight and dislocated his shoulder. He was rushed to the ER to have it put back in place.

I wasn’t actually mad at him for it I was more upset I couldn’t be there for him and worried that he wouldn’t be able to hold Iris for awhile. Other people holding her is how I maintain any semblance of humanity. Thankfully, he’s a champ and he could still do it all.

The most exciting point of the week was all of a sudden she slept for five hours at night randomly. I woke up surprised because this never happened before. I worried maybe something terrible had happened, and started to feel guilty for not waking myself up sooner. So I hovered over her hoping to hear her breathe. Of course my dicking around woke her up.

The next day I tried plotting out what it was that I did to make her sleep so well. The answer was swaddling and formula. The clusterfeed life had been getting to me a little so the occasional bottle of half formula and half breastmilk became my best friend. Just before feeding her that night I changed her diaper, read her a few books, chatted with her, and swaddled her in a SwaddleMe. This combination somehow made the magic happen. When she woke up again, I repeat the process without reading or talking once again having success.

The next night I expected to be a failure. I felt like it had to be a fluke, but once again she went down no issue. Same exact time on the dot she woke up in the middle the night. I wondered how I hadn’t put her in the SwaddleMe sooner, but I think I assumed she was way too small. The swaddle I used previously was a zip-up and she always managed to get her hands out. Don’t underestimate the power of a baby having their arms/hands free. It serves as an instant distraction as they can startle themselves awake. Unfortunately it seems these swaddles are not recommended because it’s bad for their hips. I’m currently in the process of seeking out what works best for her. It’s kind of hard to give up once you have something that seems full proof.

The end of week five seemed much brighter than the two weeks prior. I felt like I wasn’t a complete and total failure at this mom thing. In a way I feel awful for feeling so down for awhile about needing to wake up constantly. When you get pregnant you hear non-stop for the entire ten months that you won’t get sleep, but nothing in the world can prepare you for how garbage it makes you feel once it’s happening.

Iris week five: August 27th, 2017.